PERSONAL STORIES

Kathy E, cancer survivor since 2002

Today I turned 52. A week after I turned 48, I received the diagnosis of breast cancer, stage 3. No one ever forgets that moment in time when something totally changes their life. No one in my family had every had breast cancer and I truly thought I would not have it as I did not have any of the risk factors I had heard about and I thought I was healthy. Now I know that just being a woman is a risk factor. I was so shocked and so terrified I couldn't leave the office for quite a while. Being a single mom with two girls, one in high school and one in college, I just did not know how I was going to tell them and I did not want to leave them. As it was, I waited a week until I could have them both with me. I told them I was going to fight my hardest, that I would do everything I could and that God would take care of me. I told them of all the research that had been done and how more and more women were surviving. I told them to talk to others and that they would so easily find survivors they never knew were there. And they did.

Since that first week, it has been as though I have traveled across the world in the amount of knowledge gained, closer to God I have become, tears cried, fear, panic, numbness and anger felt and appreciation of so many friends, family and strangers who have loved, supported and taken care of me. Because of the type of work I was currently doing, I was able to keep working through 8 rounds of chemotherapy, 3 surgeries and 7 weeks of radiation. I gained so much weight and felt so drained. I felt like I didn't know what it was like to laugh or smile. I was becoming totally exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. When I was told I would need more chemotherapy after my radiation as I had had 9 cancerous lymph nodes, I weighed all my information and told the doctors I would do everything else I could to stay healthy, but that I just could not take more chemotherapy. Being an Occupational Therapist, I knew I had to start getting myself back together.

Fear was my biggest enemy. It became my dragon that I had to slay, sometimes on a very regular basis. I starting walking every night, walking to slay the dragon, to conquer the fear, to gain mental clarity and strength and to get control again. I walked at night so no one would see my tears or my struggle to get down the block, see my bald head or see me have to sit on the curb. But slowly and with the help of my dog, a great nutritionist and a lot of prayer I started seeing more hope and more energy. I lost a pound a week for 36 weeks. A month and half after the end of my radiation, I celebrated my 49th birthday by doing my very first 5K. Crossing the bridge to the finish line, I knew I was going to make it, I knew I would be alright. I had no trouble smiling now. My support group, made up of other cancer survivors, had decided to train with a group called Team Survivor to participate in the Danskin Triathlon. Well, we did and we did it! It was only then that I could say the other "C" word, Cured. Then it was another group, Move Through Cancer, where I did my first 10K. Now three Triathlons, one LONG BIKE RIDE and three 10K's later, I am still learning so much on how to keep my body, mind and soul healthier and happier and how to appreciate others and life. Smiling is an important part of my life now. I feel I have a lot to smile about and I am planning on doing it for a very long time!